Pissing Contests

Disclaimer: This whole post is complaints.

Being misunderstood is so frustrating. Trying to explain to someone how you feel can be difficult enough, and misrepresenting your feelings is even worse.

Today was terrible... x 5. I guess I just really needed to talk it out, which didn't happen. Good thing I have friends that can one-up my problems, at all times. You'd think it would make me feel better...

I am ok, and I give credit where credit is due, but I did this one alone. Maybe I was too ambitious. I should have been more aware of my limiting circumstances. Circumstances that were out of my control. But hey, at least I got to go camping when I was a kid. Did I mention why I was able to go camping as a kid? My brothers and my dad were all involved with the boyscouts. They went camping a lot. And sometimes one of the moms would suggest letting other family members attend the trips, such as her daughter. (Strange how a mom wouldn't just want to spend the weekend with her daughter, but that's neither here nor there.) And did I mention all the fun events those scouts participated in throughout the years? I got to stand on the sidelines for all of it. I got to go watch my brothers race in the soap box derby in the go-cart my dad built with them. And see them decorate their pinewood cars my dad carved for them. I got to go to all of their ceremonies and dinners and see the proud look in my father's eyes. I got to help pick up trash at their community service projects, and help my dad write his speeches, as he was the scoutmaster for a while and heavily involved with the goings-on since the beginning. I even got to miss a few of my Gifted and Talented meetings because my parents were busy getting ready for my brother's Eagle Scout dinner. I was involved in that too. I got to write out all the invitations, and then address and send them all. "We" did all sorts of fun stuff. I guess that's why they were too busy to come to my track meets. Ever. Or come to my varsity award dinners throughout the years. Or go to my national honors society induction. Or even ask to see my report cards. They came to a few MHC events with me though...to hand out business cards.

Look, my life has been blessed and amazing and I know it. But you don't. Just because someone is there it doesn't mean they are with you.


You can't be disappointed if you never attempt anything extraordinary. But don't be fooled into thinking that you've never failed. I'm taking a bow, because I tried. And if I succeed in the end I will extend an insincere and utterly empty thanks to my friends and family.