I Can't Do This

I don't know what to do, but I know what I'm going to do. I'm not ok with it yet, but it needs to happen. Who do I apologize to? Maybe just myself for being so awful. It's so cliche to say that if I make it through this I will be a better person, but I truly believe it. If I get out of this in one piece I am going to do whatever it takes to improve myself and my life. I feel like a child saying this, but I just want to be held. I need to be engulfed in someone's arms and be told that everything will be ok, because I really don't believe it this time.